Whether we’re young people, middle-aged or old, we’ve all felt guilty because of personal actions that we’re not so proud that we did. Today let’s consider for a moment what role guilt and shame may have had in causing your chronic illness. More than you may realize, it could be a really valid concern particularly if you’re a teenager and a victim of peer pressure or you instigated peer pressure on someone else.

(Hint: Being teased and being the victim of peer pressure is a ‘soul wound’ that many people cannot ever recover from without getting specific help.)

Today’s young people case in point, Skye Dailor

If you’ve been around Chronic Fatigue Syndrome long enough, you remember that it’s been twenty years since 14 year old Skye Dailor took her life because of how she dealt with peer pressure and being teased about the illness. (Please read the rest of my thoughts.)

As I understand what transpired, one of more teenagers teased Skye at school and suggested she just end it all. Unfortunately, the young woman did exactly that.

Personally, I wonder how these teenagers, who must now be over 30 years old and adults, feel about what they did back then to Skye Dailor:

Do you remember the incident?

Does it stand out as a moment in time that you feel proud of?

If you feel shame and remorse, how are you living with the guilt of what you did?

Hopefully, there is remorse and a valuable life lesson learned for these people and all of us, too. Why? Because every action we take has consequences. Just like me, in bringing up this subject, this post may cause someone to feel guilty or shameful about something hurtful that they did to someone else.

So I’m saying to these grown adults today, surely you do feel sorry because a young woman’s life was put in peril and cut short. You did not try to understand her life or how sick she was. You dared to tease and criticize her and you said things that resulted in horrible consequences for your fellow classmate. I’m guessing that the guilt of that surely has followed you through your life.

I’m not suggesting that you forget what you did. Instead feel genuine sorrow and then find a way to move on with your life. To do that? You need a “healthy way” to handle these feelings. (Like Sacred Cellular Healing. See the links of this website.) Because you inflicted a soul wound on someone else, your soul and energy spirit are wounded, too.

Otherwise, the guilt you feel will ultimately consume you. It will impact your life and health in very negative ways. You will get sick. Poor health is a common, long term result of living with unresolved feelings of guilt.

I see this incident as a stark example of what I’m calling, Peer Pressure 101. Surely there are thousands of similar events. Peer pressure and harassment are certainly too prevalent in our society, whether they occur one-on-one in person, or through emails, texting, sexting, message boards or malicious blogs.

I feel great compassion for us humans who make mistakes and then have to carry around the burden of our actions for the rest of our lives. I can imagine that these particular adults we’re talking about today do carry around, consciously or unconsciously, quite a bit of shame and guilt and that it is affecting them. Surely twenty years ago, they did not intend the horrible outcome of Skye Dailor killing herself. They simply teased her and said ugly things. Pretty harmless, eh? NO! Tragically, it worked. Even so, forgiveness for these people is in order because we all make mistakes. If we don’t forgive each other, we’re putting ourselves above everyone else. That’s just not possible nor is it wise, because we’ve taken the bad feelings with us. Unhealthy energy and emotions beget more of the same. And all because we insist on holding onto our indignance and not practicing forgiveness.

Know that if you carry around shame and guilt, it will impact your health whether you realize it or not. I urge you to take a moment to check out last Friday’s Health Matters Show about how to be successful in your long term health and be an illness survivor.

Negative emotions that we insist on carrying around do affect us.

Need proof? 1) The chronic health problems you are dealing with today and 2) The additional health problems that will likely show up tomorrow. Negativity breeds negativity!

Alternative? To be strong, resilient and healthier, we must learn how to shed negative emotions and instead head our lives in more positive directions.

TRUTH: The choice of whether that happens or not is yours.

(If you have opinions about peer pressure, ridicule or any of the negative events that people with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome face, please comment below. If you have examples of forgiveness, leave those, too.)

Thanks so much, Cinda Crawford, your host

PS- Here’s a great article on forgiveness from the The Washington Post -or- check out Fred Luskin’s book on Forgive For Good below.

Emily Collingridge has written a new CFS ME (CFSME) or ME/CFS book, entitled Severe ME/CFS: A Guide to Living, which is acclaimed to be the first definitive reference book written specifically to help those people suffering with ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis). If is written about and to those individuals who are predominantly bedridden and in need of considerable care. If you are severely ill or your caregiver needs additional information, I would recommend you get a copy of this book.

Writing this work surely had to be a miraculous accomplishment for Emily Collingridge because she was so drastically ill for so long. She fell sick when she was 6 years old and that was 22 years ago!

(Learn more about Emily and her new book…

here, at the Association of Young People with ME.

Emily Collingridge, from London, learned the hard way. She became ill 22 years ago, at the age
of 6. She has now had severe ME/CFS for 12 years. At her worst she was blind, mute, doubly incontinent, tube fed and unable to move at all. Rare complications brought her close to death. Desperate to make severe ME/CFS a less traumatic experience for others, Emily has spent the last two years researching and writing Severe ME/CFS: A Guide to Living.

By all accounts, Emily Collingridge is an extraordinary young woman. I encourage you to order the book directly from the website. Here are comments I received via email as to them being able to ship the book overseas.

The guide has been written for UK patients, however it does include valuable information for all patients. We will however have to include postage (airmail) which will be added to the cost (£5.99) for the booklet for all overseas orders.

They provide an order form that you can print out, if you like.

You decide about the value of this book in your efforts to understand CFSME. I suspect it offers quite a bit of new information about the illness. Plus, it could be the perfect gift for the caregiver in your life. There never seem be enough good words of praise and gratitude to offer a true caregiver.

To all those suffering with CFSME or MECFS (whatever term you choose),
To your health, help, information, happiness and comfort,
I’m Cinda Crawford, your host of the Health Matters Show

Whether you suffer with Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, what foods you eat -or lack of “good” food- is often a real mountain to climb because problem foods certainly can cause lots of problem symptoms. They cause digestion problems at the least and readily add to immune dysfunction and a general increase in overall symptoms. Can suicide be one of those symptoms? You decide.

Foods were a big problem for me many years ago and for Mary Moeller, my interview guest yesterday. Read more about her fascinating story below… .

Even though Mary was a licensed clinical practical nurse with her education and care rooted in traditional medicine, she went through a tough time trying to figure out her illnesses and associated food questions. She felt forced to find better answers than the ones available.

Very soon, not only was she sick with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but her young seven-year old daughter came down with Lyme Disease and Fibromyalgia. That had to tear Mary apart seeing her young person fall so desperately ill, yet know that if things were going to turn around, it was up to her because nothing was helping at all!

Either way, surely every member of her family was suffering to the point that Mary began to consider personal suicide. Now she quickly gave up the idea of taking her life in order to find the needed answers to get her and her daughter well, but that didn’t mean that at that moment suicide didn’t seem like a viable option- a way out.

I think it’s safe to say that taking your life is never the best way out. However living through such horrible illness symptoms is a very personal journey and often seems more like living through an unending nightmare.

If you haven’t read and listened to yesterday’s Health Matters Show podcast, I urge you to do it now while this subject is fresh on your mind. Then, please, take the time to comment on that particular post. When you comment about something that really moves you, your action (your comment) increases the likelihood that search engines like Google and Yahoo, plus all the social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, Digg and more will pick up this vital data. The more comments and posts about the original post, the higher it will rank in all searches. That means more people will find it and that is the purpose of all this! Good information for those folks who need it.

Dear One, if you and I are going to do what we can to conquer these illnesses, it’s critical that we work together, support each other and get the good word out about all of the issues surrounding Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

Thank you so much,
Cinda Crawford, host of the Health Matters Show

In an effort to create greater worldwide awareness to ME and CFS young people, I would like you to call your attention to an appeal that was listed in Co-Cure Listserve this week from Jane Colby, Executive Director, The Young ME Sufferers Trust (of the UK), which is affiliated with the Thymes Magazine and the Thymes Trust. In a heartfelt appeal she asks people to forward their unused Christmas cards. Her note goes as follows:
(Please keep reading. Your action can make a difference!)

Hi all.

In a day or so we’ll be putting out an appeal for spare, unused Christmas cards. The Alert will appear here, but I just wanted to put an advance message out.

Each year, some of our members and friends kindly donate unused Christmas cards for us to send to our young members the following year. To supplement these, we normally have an inexpensive source where we can buy the rest. This year that source has completely dried up. Gone. Vamoosed. And we don’t yet have as many donated cards as usual, possibly because of the snow. Maybe there are some parcels in the post, maybe not.

Anyway, if you or the members of your local group have any cards they didn’t use this year, or notice any cheap cards still being sold off in supermarkets, maybe you could kindly send some to our address below. You can save postage by taking out the envelopes, as we place the cards inside Vision after they have all been personally signed, so we don’t use the envelopes.

Pretty please!

I’ve held off while so much discussion is going on about XMRV (the Trust’s position on that is in Vision at www.tymestrust.org/tymesmagazine.htm – page 19). But it can’t wait any longer!

Thanks to those generous hearts out there. Awareness is not a one day, one week or one month event. We can help each other out all the time and create more worldwide awareness for these valid causes.

Every year I simply put my cards away in a drawer and save them for the next year. This year I know how to make better use of them. This blog entry is my way of sending my very best wishes to all the world’s young ME and CFS young people. Yours is a condition of suffering that touches all of our hearts and I hope we’ll all do what we can to help you.

And a special thanks to wonderful organization like the Young ME Sufferers Trust for the valuable work that you are doing.

Send your cards only to: (no envelopes to the cards needed)
The Young ME Sufferers Trust
PO Box 4347
Stock Ingatestone
Essex CM4 9TE
Tel 0845 003 9002

Let’s make their appeal something the organization and all the young people will remember with love. Please comment about this here on the Health Matters show blog. Hit the “Share This” button and share the messsage in every way you can think of! Even re-post it to your blog, post it to Twitter, Facebook and any other place that ME and CFS people might see it like forums and groups. Really DIGG this message and send it around the world!

Together you and I can make a difference in each other’s lives.

Thanks so very, very much, Cinda Crawford
Host of the Health Matters Show