Recently an astute observer pointed out something valuable to me. (He was a recent follower of my work and the recipient of a short e-mail-based course that I provide.) I had sent him a short installment which stated,
“‘It’s Not All In Your Head!’ When someone spouts the refrain, ‘It’s All In Your head- IAIYH,’ don’t get angry (although it may be tempting to do so.) Instead… say to yourself, ‘No, it’s all in your head. My illness is real!’”
Well, Sean pointed out that he didn’t feel the need to respond. That he knew he had a chronic illness! So I say, “Bravo, Sean.”
Yes, my quick retort was probably a bit off-target to someone as self-assured as Sean. And most people who have lived with chronic illness a long time do get to that point. The more pointed problem and hurt comes to those who are fairly new to this very unfair game. Such a remark can shake them to the core.
Because such remarks as “It’s All In Your Head,” can hurt so badly and challenge your self image and self esteem so specifically, it can be difficult to know what to say or what to feel. You’re left floundering on the proverbial hook.
Just know that with short-term or long-term chronic illness, we’ve all been there, heard that and had to live with the residual damage of such remarks. Even a newbie at this will grow and toughen up over time. No, you shouldn’t have to do that, but to survive you will learn how to handle people who insinuate that your illness is not real or that you’re “faking it.”
Take some comfort that neither Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome are all in your head. Yes, we may have brain fog, headaches and unrelenting symptoms, but the illnesses are quite real.
Thanks, Sean, for making your point. It was a good one!
Cinda Crawford, host of the Health Matters Show, where we discuss the issues concerning Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and chronic illness
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